Tired, Retired, Whatever I am I am Way too Busy

I woke up this morning saying to myself, "That's it."  I mean this in the deepest way I can.  I feel like ever since I briefly rested (took 2 days to lolly around) after my official retirement date, June 30, I have been going like a bat out of hell.  I am not sure if it's just my nature to work hard (maybe?) or if it's more because I have such a ginormous list of what I want to do now that I supposedly have all the time in the world to do it.   But I am, and have heard myself telling the decorators, my trainer, my yoga mentor, my jewelry teacher, even Mary at the post office,  'Yes, thank you, I am so happy to be retired, but you know, I'm feeling overwhelmed."  And then I wonder about what I just said; aren't I retired?  Just this morning I told my husband, "I feel like I'm back at work with such a long list of things to do today!"  To those of you who continue to work full-time, I apologize and I apologize to all the mothers who work (I have never understood how you do THAT); but as I arose this morning I knew it was really time to get a grip. 

Where does the tired come from you retired person, you ask?  Well,  I want to work out every day and have a trainer/coach who I really like working with who is very serious about body work.  "Move every day," she tells me and I believe her and want to do that along with fitting in lifting weights, rolling, getting in some good cardio and remembering to schedule in a very specific local yoga class by the most body-knowledgable instructor around to stretch and keep limber, those well-worked, albeit, 62 year-old muscles.  In addition, I want to spend focused and creative time on my metal jewelry and giant yard art which I LOVE doing (wasn't being an "artiste" one of my retirement visions?) and yet often miss that special Friday art class because I am, as I text my jewelry mentor, "Sorry, too busy for class today!" I also want to redecorate/renovate my home (and am so excited to do this and it's been on my "list" for 2 years).  Yet just telling the young decorators (free consult) what I want to do and how I really, yes, really, want to pretty much do it all myself, exhausts me.  And I wouldn't even dare to take these two gals downstairs to show them the packed-to-the-rims basement ("That's a long term project", I tell them) that I want to perfectly organize ala "The LIfe-Changing Magic of Tidying Up:  The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" (I think I need to re-read that book and apply it to my life).  Add to all this, I want to plan the perfect trip in Mini (our brand new 21 foot travel trailer which took weeks to research and finally purchase) as we head out on our maiden U.S.A. Northern Route tour and voyage 6 weeks from now.   So, of course, I have been checking atlases, websites, reading everything I can get my hands on to see how campgrounds are rated, do they allow dogs, what kind of services do they have and how much are we going to pay.  And, Miss Mini requires insurance (checking many to get the best price), taxes/tabs through the town (wait until August 1 my husband says, we will save money!), sheets for the murphy bed, and complete stocking of bathroom and kitchen for our upcoming weekend "let's try her out" camping trips (swiftly coming up the next two weekends) which also took time to arrange, coordinate, pay for.  I have vowed  to be a minimalist with Mini ("No more stuff," I tell my husband)  but we do need to stock toilet paper (biodegradable) and dish soap (environmentally friendly?) along with a few clothes and a pillow or two.

And, then summer is always the busiest time with rentals (but, no regrets here, this is WHY I and hubby can retire earlier than most).  But I have 5 leases and 2 re-rents to contend with and one cranky tenant, well and another tenant who I have to pull the rent out of monthly but that's an ongoing problem.  This re-renting sounds easy enough but to turn around a unit involves advertising (and uploading current pictures), writing leases, setting up showings, meeting, calling references, cleaning......Thank goodness we decided to not purchase another house, although we seriously considered it (with all the calls to mortgage people, financial people, sellers).  I am pretty sure if we had pursued one more acquisition of one more property at this point in time, my husband would have arrived home from work one evening, soon like next week, to watch me jumping around in the yard like a crazy person and running off into the woods with the dog at my heels.  He, not me, was the one to say, "I think we have too much on our plate right now."  Ya think?  This is not what I expected in retirement.  Oh, and, I am busily and happily planning a yoga weekend in two weeks, of course co-leading and looking ahead to wonderful yoga workshops next year!  The woman, my yoga mentor, who I am running the workshops with and who owns a local yoga studio interviewed me by way of advertising for our upcoming workshop weekend.  Her first of two questions was, "So you are retired.  Why are you wanting to do yoga therapy with kids?"  Why, I ask, am I?

Add to all this, we now want to travel to Thailand this winter.  And, for whatever reason, I have turned into Martha Stewart, the party planner, inviting every body over all the time for a BBQ or quick lunch, "Who do we have coming over this weekend?" my husband asks every Friday morning.  So, with this new day, nearly one month since official retirement, I am back to writing, yoga, meditation every morning and then, and only then, seeing what the day holds and keeping my panties on, taking it one thing at a time and enjoying all the free time I am supposed to be having in retirement!  But, first I need to address that giant list of "to dos" our new financial planner (who I really am happy is working with us!) sent me.

And, as I get ready to push, "Publish" for this blog post (of course I'd love to also get back to writing that book and publish a post here daily!), I see a little book right by my side on the end table, "Yoga Therapy for Stress And Anxiety."  I think I better re-read that book as well!  Or just take a deep breath.....ommmmmmmm. Oh, and do a few more training sessions with Olive, our barky/lively lab who I am sure I can train into calmness in these next 6 weeks before we embark on our cross country adventure so she doesn't irritate our camping neighbors with her hyperactivity  (or I may just do what the vet suggested, give her 2 Benedryl!).....yep, time to get a grip!