Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Open Heart


I have been studying and practicing yoga for 5 years. Now I teach yoga to kids. I have not always been so good about an early morning practice even tho I enjoy it and know how good it is for me. Sometime back, during a stressful time at work, I did my asanas (physical poses) and pranayama (breathing exercises) and meditation for an entire work week, early in the morning. I felt wonderful as I confidently drove to work. However, once I got to work I noticed that I could barely function with such wide open, peace-and-love-to-all heart. Everything people said to me touched me, emotionally. Their words either moved me in some deep and significant way or they pierced me and I was mortally wounded. I wanted to cry or run away all day! So, I stopped doing yoga in the mornings before work. But, I have missed it. A month or so ago, at a yoga training, I brought this up to my friend, who is also a yoga for kids instructor. To my surprise, she immediately knew what I was talking about. She said that when she went to work, she had to have her $*&^ face on. If she was too open, she just couldn't call up that face and couldn't function in her job. So this is the trick. To be open but not so open that you can't easily move through the day. There is a place for complete openness and a kind, loving heart just hanging out there....with family and friends, in my yoga community and with the kids I work with. I need that open heart when I do my art work and write. At work, however, where I am being criticized, evaluated and monitored (which is OK..that seems to be what the workplace is), by people who hold very different ideas and values from me, I need to practice restraint and not walk around with my heart dangling from my sleeve. I want to be open but not unprepared for what might come my way. Moved but not mortally wounded. Now I am doing my early morning yoga practice again (and I LOVE it) but mindful of my heart sitting ever-so-openly on my shoulder. Maybe this will work better :)

3 comments:

  1. What a beautiful blog. Would it not be the perfect world if we could leave our heats open to one and all our entire lives, every minute of the day. That's why I love your writing, because you do it with a wonderful open heart.
    Rita

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  2. That would be hearts, not heats!

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