A Cure for the Blues

The recent death of my friend, Alice, hit me pretty hard. Ever since my mom passed away nearly 2 years ago, death feels different to me. I am personally acquainted and my heart easily breaks. This past year I have know 3 dogs who have died, a friend's father and now, Alice. And not that I really knew or cared all that much about Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, their deaths are still all over the media. Alice's death, I think, was particularly hard for me because she was only 2 years older than me. As my mother frequently said, "Therefore by the grace of God go I." Or maybe it's just that once I turned 55 (less than a month ago) I started thinking about that fact that my life is now way more than half over. I mean, who lives to 110?

This past weekend, for the whole weekend, I was blue. Last night I ate a lot of chocolate, dark chocolate so I can smile knowing it's good for me, but chocolate, with a lot of calories and only a momentary pleasure, nonetheless. I also didn't work out or move much the entire weekend and I was obsessed with writing the blog piece on Ann so couldn't stop until it was done (around 2:00 am). As a result, I slept only a couple of hours and only as my husband was just getting up to start his day. Thinking about running on the treadmill and lifting heavy weights when I finally decided to get up around 8:00 am was the last thing I thought my body would agree to engage in, but I went to the gym any way. Staving off old age and illness, I am committed to working out 5 days a week and it was Monday, my gym day. To my amazement, although I did feel like laying down on the gym floor and sobbing several times once my body started to move, I felt so much better after my workout! My mood had completely shifted. Three cheers for endorphins! With a much improved attitude I came home, played catch with my loving and goofy lab and then gardened for a bit. What is it about gardening that repairs the mournful soul? I think it was the butterfly that really did it...flying around just above my head. Landing on a mass of flowers in full bloom on some nondescript and kind of ugly plant, that butterfly made me happy. It made me, as corny as it sounds, think about life....how amazing it is, and how fleeting.

A hard workout and gardening, playing with my goofy and loving lab, and maybe even butterflies....cures for the blues :)